Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
