I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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