So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need mimosas to revive my soul
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
