So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's like iHOP with fire
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
