At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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