Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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