I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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