brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
