Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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