the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
PANTIES FOUND
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
