at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
