I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
