"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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