It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
