i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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