That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
