they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
