her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
