Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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