She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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