At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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