Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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