Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
