considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
3pm strippers are depressing
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
