last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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