In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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