Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
