Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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