Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dear god my vagina.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
