just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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