id be glad to
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
