he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
