She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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