I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
