Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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