My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
