Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
