WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
