I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
