Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
And then he peed in my hair
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
