Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
