Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Bring me that man meat
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
