I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
