I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
