If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
