im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
