I wanna bring you to show and tell
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
