Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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