Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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