I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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